I didn't shave. On purpose
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
