I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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