I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
