Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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