I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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