i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
bring money and cleavage
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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