it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
