capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
