they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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