friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
