when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
that may or may not have been my penis.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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