Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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