So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
