I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Randomize
