D3 body, D1 cock
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
My vagina is officially offended.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
