So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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