so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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