He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize