i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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