Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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