life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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