So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize