We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
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