Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
