I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize