Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Randomize
