haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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