I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
