It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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