I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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