i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
