You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
