yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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