But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Randomize
