So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize