Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
