So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
