We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
