i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
