it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
