As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
