He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
