shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
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