dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
