He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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