I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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