yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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