Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
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