Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
