Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
it's like iHOP with fire
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
