Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
