Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
