i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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