if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Randomize
