some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
