Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
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