the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know š
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Heās older
Like āhas a job and pays his billsā older or āstill watches porn on DVD because he canāt figure out the Internetā older?
Randomize