Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
