Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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