so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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