She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
