Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
