How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
